With tomorrow being America’s birthday, we are releasing this week’s edition of Conservative Comedy a day early. Happy birthday, America! 238 years young and still going strong!

Nancy Pelosi recently traveled to Texas to stare creepily at the crushing tide of young illegal aliens pouring into our country—her purpose being to encourage us all to “find the best solution to the problem, not the fastest.” The Conservative Comic at Hope n’ Change has found a way to do both by drinking tequila instead of whiskey whenever Pelosi speaks. And trust us, you’ll be doing the same once you hear what San Fran Nan is saying.

For starters, she declared that whether or not one is born in this country, “We’re all Americans in this hemisphere. North and South America.” She then elaborated that “this is a community with a border running through it,” essentially equating our nation’s southern border with the cruel and artificial division of the Berlin Wall. Unfortunately, she couldn’t demand that anyone “tear down this wall” because she and her colleagues have made sure that one was never built.

The abortion-loving Pelosi then rhapsodized that “every child has a spark of divinity in them and is therefore worthy of respect. What we saw in those [detention and holding] rooms was a dazzling, sparkling array of God’s children.” Although before you start imagining the Vienna Boys Choir based on Nancy’s description, keep in mind the sparkling array of interesting diseases some are carrying, including HIV, TB, and scabies.

Homeland Security is currently using our tax dollars to buy underwear for the new arrivals in sizes up to men’s XXXXXXL. Which, suspiciously, is also the roman numeral which identifies the date of the apocalypse. Coincidence? We think not.

Jodi Miller at Newsbusted and the folks at Insanity Island are off this week, so I went searching the archives of a few of my favorite websites. Amazingly, I found videos on the illegal immigration problem from years ago. Proof positive that Obama has been a failure on this issue from the very beginning.

First, from the video vault of Ray Stevens, I found a funny video that pretty well sums up the attitude of most liberals when it comes to handling illegal immigration. Come to the USA, a video that shows us how other countries refuse to tolerate illegals—let alone invite them to come and stay—is dedicated to the “hard-working American citizens who were born in other countries and chose to ‘Come to the USA’ the right way.”

Next, we have a video on illegal immigration based on a parody from the one and only Rush Limbaugh. It’s no mystery that the R.I.N.O. W.I.M.P.S. have long advocated amnesty for illegals. Two members of the G.O.P. Hall of Shame (John McCain and Lindsey Graham) tell us why establishment Republicans are pimping for the Democrats on the subject.

Last, but certainly not least, AlfonZo Rachel wants to know: if the USA is a horrible, land-grabbing, unprogressive, bigoted, and unequal country, why are there thousands of people crossing the borders illegally? If America is really that bad, why would they want to come to this awful place? Hhmmm? Hear more in this ZoNation.

Zo is a Christian conservative social / political humorist, whose work is distinguished by his grinning delivery and rapid fire rant style in his video commentaries called, ZoNation, featured on PJ Media. If you like his work, you can experience the creative energy and conservative insight that Zo delivers in every show by ordering the ZoNation Complete Series Collection. Check it out!

Have a great weekend!