Welcome to this edition of Conservative Comedy. Today, we celebrate the first Ronaversary of coronavirus tyranny after a year’s worth of “15 days to flatten the curve” mandates and lockdowns, and we take a look at getting “woke” and how you can get woke too!
We begin with a few jokes and one-liners:
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Seriously, don’t touch my door and stand back 6 feet to social distance.
- My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant over the past year that when I pee, I clean the toilet.
- Do you remember when you were a little kid and your undies were printed with the different days of the week? Imagine how useful that would have been over the past year.
- If this COVID saga ever comes to an end, I’m still going to want many of you to stay away from me.
And this for all the pet lovers who learned a year ago that you’d be stuck at home.
Dogs: “This is great! You’re here all day for me to love! I’ll be with you and follow you wherever you go! I am so excited because you are the greatest and I love you being here so much!
Cats: “What the heck are you still doing here?”
Looking back the past year of coronavirus tyranny, Americans have clearly grown way too comfortable with the loss of liberty that has become the “new normal.” Even so-called Christians and conservatives have warmed up to coronavirus tyranny, demonizing those who refuse to capitulate to government’s unconstitutional overreaction to the supposed pandemic do as they have done.
In many ways, 2021 is a Groundhog Day-type experience where this year is essentially a replay of 2020. In that spirit, Conservative Comedy wants to recognize the first Ronaversary with a new video by WhatsHerFace, where she gives this moment in history the “honor” it deserves. Happy Ronaversary!
“At this time last year, we were all in this together and now, we’re literally establishing Jim Crow laws. And I’m not even being facetious.
“I’m actually seeing people champion the idea of “vaccinated only” dining hours and completely ‘anti-vaxxer-free’ establishments.”
In this Conservative Comedy look at getting “woke,” it’s becoming increasingly clear that making the world more aware of social problems like racism, homophobia, transphobia, inequality, etc. is a big job — so big that the Woke Mob is looking out for new recruits, as we see in this video by AwakenWithJP.
“The Woke Mob wants you! In this recruitment video you’ll see all the perks and life enhancing benefits of serving your country by joining the Woke Mob. Radical-left culture needs your service. Join the Woke Mob today!”
The Woke Mob leaves no stone unturned in its search for social injustices, but they have missed the mark with one special interest group that’s been discriminated against since the 1970s . . . the extremely stupid.
In this Saturday Night Live classic video sponsored by the Right to Extreme Stupidity League, we learn the sad truth about the struggles they face in un-woke America.
BONUS VIDEO:
As you know, I’m a big fan of Reason TV’s Remy, so I couldn’t let this edition of Conservative Comedy end without featuring his latest.
Following Ted Cruz’s “for the children” trip to Mexico during the recent deep freeze suffered in Texas, Remy shows us how the senator representing the Lone Star state had some pretty good reasons for abandoning his constituents in their time of need.
Confronting a crippling winter storm, calling impeachment witnesses, and administering a life saving vaccine are all important. But sometimes we all need a little “me” time.
Happy Ronaversary, America! Now, get woke and join a Woke Mob! The “extremely stupid” are counting on you!
David Leach is the owner of the Strident Conservative. He holds people of every political stripe accountable for their failure to uphold conservative values, and he promotes those values instead of political parties.
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